The Next 2

April 28th, 2010

My soon to be (this Thursday!) 5 year old Girl asked me at bedtime the other night who Hosanna is.  “Who?”  I asked.  ”Hosanna.  We sing, ‘Sing to Hosanna’ in my class.  And I want to know who she is.”

~She’s reading!  She was really showing interest and learning those letters, so not too long ago I brought out our Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons and let her try it.  She’s on lesson 31 now, making progress daily and loving it.  She sits in on our read alouds and is doing science lapbooks as well (elephants right now, insects were the last one - she chose both!)  She’s working on math and loving that too – learning money and telling time and even adding simple numbers (with no pictures to help anymore).  She learned to ride her 2 wheeler bike without the training wheels last month.  Her biggest dilemma is what to wear – that beloved skirt gets in the way of her bike riding, oh my the drama!  When I asked what she wanted for her birthday she answered with “math schoolwork books!”  Have I mentioned she hasn’t started kindergarten yet?  Who is this kid anyway?  She’s still very much the princess.  In fact, when I showed her this picture she hated it because she “looks all dirty.  Yuck!”  She talks non-stop.  She will try any food you put in front her.  She still misses Chikezie very much.  She hates 3-D movies and carnival rides.  Her fits and defiance have eased some, but she still complains at every request.  When required to do her chores everyday she says, “but I’m siiiiiiick.”  She’s still stuck in in-between limbo world.  Not quite doing what “the boys” do, but not quite so babyish as to be left out of things that the “youngers” can’t do.  She has the best laugh in the whole world – full, whole body, throw her head back laugh – we call her Snoopy when she does it!  She loves dresses and sparkles and barbies and babies.  She loves singing and dancing and couldn’t wait to get home to “practice” after going to the ballet the other night.  She’s a whirling, twirling, swirl of pink in our world of blue.   

My 3 year old BigMan while kissing the baby “I love him.  He’s my best best one.”

He asks for his own “schoolwork” and I realize I haven’t done nearly enough with him.  At least not enough to satisfy his desire for it.  We read nursery rhymes, children’s books, and sing little songs – though not enough by my wishes – must remedy that.  Besides, he wants to be “doing” more.  First on my list is to do some of those nursery rhyme and children’s book based lapbooks with him.  I think he’d love that.  He went to his 3 year old well child visit today.  He uses this “cartoony voice” off and on and has for months.  We prompt him to use his “big boy voice” as much as we can.  His weight is back on the charts which is good to know.  There for awhile we were offering PediaSure, peanut butter, ice cream, and anything high caloric.  Nice to be past that.  He’s still a skinny minny, but not worrisome like he was.  He uses “st” for “th” – “thank you” becomes “stank you”, “I think so” becomes “I stink so.”  It’s so dern cute!  He can pedal his tricycle.  When I pick him up he clings to me like a little monkey – holding on with his arms and feet and giggling.  He’s in full 3 year old defiance.  But still my cuddler when the time is right.  We recently decided that the co-sleeping bedroom would come to its timely end.  BigMan got his own toddler bed in the same room with his sister while his 2 big brothers still share the loft.  It is back to sleep training time around here.  Though we’ve been whole-hearted co-sleepers, sleep training is something we’ve done with the first 3.  At varying ages and with varying degrees of “you must learn this”.  But after a few tearful “Mama’s right here, let’s go back to your bed and lay downs they always get it.  We slacked when we were co-sleeping, because with a new baby – who cares who came to bed when.  But now that we’ve taught BigMan, the older 3 have taken easily to the “Night, night, we’ll see you in the morning, and not a second before”.  He loves his new baby.  So much.  Tells me in the midst of my doing dishes that the baby NEEDS me.  He’s always offering him toys, kissing him and entertaining him.  He tells him all the time that he’s his best buddy.  He’s still an adrenaline junkie.  Loved the How To Train Your Dragon excitement, giggled and squealed through the carnival ride.  He still jumps off everything, and tries everything the others do.  When I tell him to step outside and tell the others to come in he yells out the door “OTHERS – come in!!!”  When I dry him off at bathtime he holds the towel around him and over his head (think Obi Wan robe style) and asks “Can I stay this on?”  He likes playing in his church class – finally.  He chooses to stay with his Daddy or Nana when I need to go somewhere.  He’s fully potty trained except at bedtime.  And we’ve even convinced him that he can indeed pee outside if it’s an emergency.  Who is THIS kid – we couldn’t get the rest of them to come in to potty!  Playdough’s his favorite.  His daddy tells him to make obedience his favorite.  He’s Mr. Independent, there’s nothing he won’t take care of himself if he thinks you’re taking too long getting around to it.  We play a “Hey Diddle Diddle game” that always leaves him giggling.  He loves when we do “This little piggy” and I tickle him all the way up to his ears when I get to the last piggy.  He, just this week, is learning to sleep in his own bed.  It’s actually going well.  He’s only coming out a few times at bedtime and only cried once very briefly last night before walking himself back to his own bed and going to sleep playing with toys.  Now if we can just get him to stay there all night!  He does this little tippy toe runny thing when he’s being funny cutesy and we LOVE it! 

Oh my goodness!  Raising these kids is a riot!

Quotes, Updates, Curriculum, Unschooling, and Such

April 27th, 2010

With all my inward inspection turned outward you might think my life has been all gray and dreary and serious.  Not so.  That’s only reserved for those quiet alone times.  And how often does that actually happen?  Besides that, I’m amazed at how my soul has lifted after coming clean with God.  Really, do I ever learn?  While I was so bogged down with all that guilt and worry – life was continually happening around me.  And I don’t want to forget, so I’ll spend a couple of posts dedicated to the kiddos and where they are in life right now.  We’ll start with the two oldest children and their schoolwork.

By the way, thinking about milestones and schoolwork, I saw last week that ABC did a Good Morning America show on unschooling.  Did you know there are people who are completely against even the thought of unschooling, however misinformed about the majority of delight-driven taught children they may be?  I heard the report was awful.  And not just in the homeschool blogger community either,  even The Huffington Post said it was “hack job” reporting.  It’s interesting to me because I’ve been known to be, at times, awfully close to being an unschooler.  *gasp!*  I’m further from it right now than I ever have been and find that the actual schoolwork part of learning has never been so dry.  My oldest still loves science and history the best.  Is it sheer coincidence that those are the two subjects I still let him lead us in?

Back to the oldest…

~He’s in third grade – 8 1/2 years old.  Took the state mandated test.  I feel like we’ve finally rounded a corner with his schoolwork.  It’s not a pulling of teeth, whining, miserable experience right now.  He can actually write out all the work that I ask him to write.  We’re using a language arts curriculum called First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind (Vol. Level 3) (First Language Lessons) that we got fromMarsha (oh, my goodness, thank you SO much!).  It’s heavy one-on-one work, which I fear will eventually be very difficult with all the kiddos, but well worth it right now.  I’m reading aloud History/Geography/Social Studies to all of them from several different books.  We’re using lapbooks to do science - right now he’s working on a weather lapbook.  We kicked off cursive handwriting lessons with a quick cute read aloud calledMuggie Maggie by Beverly Cleary.  He was so inspired by the book that jumping into daily lessons fromHandwriting Without Tears – Grade 3 Cursive Handwriting has been completely painless.   I’m still just pulling together math work.  Everyday we’re working on skip counting/multiplication and a worksheet on regrouping with an occasional fractions, word problem, chart thrown in.  Our read aloud is another Beverly Cleary book – Ramona’s World (Ramona Series).  He’s working through a spelling book  Spectrum Spelling, Grade 3.  I’m thinking we’ll stick with this plan for the summer and gear up for a much heavier curriculum/text book based year next year.  We’re not doing much art right now and I want to remedy that.  I really like the art book Marsha sent – The Lamb’s Book of Art II and I plan to start it before too long.  I’m thinking next year – 4th grade – we will continue read alouds of American History adding Mystery of History Vol 1.  I’m thinking hard about picking up Saxon Math, and either continuing the First Language Lessons or starting Reading and English from BJU Press (I have everything I need for these 2 except for his workbooks) – suggestions here?  I think we may still continue an eclectic approach to science – lapbooking, studying nature, and following his interests, though I sure did like those Usborne lessons.  And we’ll of course continue read alouds constantly.  

He still likes to be the boss, probably always will, he’s made for it.  He loves riding his bike and creating things.  He likes his alone time and tv shows; especially Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, Discovery Channel, and Bill Nye the Science Guy right now.  He likes to report back to me all the things he’s learned from them and wants me to explain them further. 

My just turned 7 year old is finishing up 1st grade. 

He sits in on our history read alouds and is doing his own science lapbooks – just finished up one onmeerkats.  He’s doing Spectrum Sight Words, Grade 1.  But I’m not thrilled with it, I’ll likely be looking for something else next year.  He’s doing handwriting from Handwriting Without Tears – My Printing Book.  Math is still pulled from random workbooks.  His language arts is sometimes combined with TheOldest’s and sometimes pulled from different workbooks.  I’m having him go back through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons- he is not happy with this decision, I quit very early on before and taught him just from books around the house, but I really think now that he’s further along that it would be good practice to go all the way through it.  He has not had the same issues with reluctant and late handwriting as his brother so he’s done much more traditional amounts of worksheets than his older brother.  So, though 2 grades younger, I will probably start him on more traditional textbooks next year as well.  We’ve been so blessed by my sister-in-law to inherit her BJU Press and Saxon Math teacher’s manuals and textbooks that all we have to buy are the workbooks. 

He loves to play games – board, pranks, and video.  He loves to run and jump and pretend.  He’s cuddly and sensitive – very much a pleaser, but stands his ground if perceives he’s been done wrong. 

In their words ~

When I told the oldest we were planning to help his 3 year old learn to sleep in his own bed, he said, “You’re going to make him sleep in his own bed?  Alone?  You know he’s going to cry not sleeping next to you?  You can’t do that to him, Mama, you know that’s torture, right?”

After church the other day my Middlest said, “We learned 2 new big names for God today.  I don’t remember them, but they were something like the other one we know – Mighty Creative.”

Unschooling, delight-driven, eclectic, or traditional, we seem to be doing something right! 

What does your teaching style look like?  How do you feel about homeschooling if you don’t do it, and even if you do?  What stuff do you use?  Are you planning on teaching your own kids?  And if so, what questions do you have?

Reading Lessons

April 23rd, 2010

They could be a commercial.

 

My girl can’t get enough of her reading lessons.  While I was working on other things I heard her 7 year old brother working on them with her.  So sweet!

Exposing The Ugliness of My Weary Heart

April 22nd, 2010

Be enough?  It sounds so easy.  Just let it go and relax?  Again so easy.

Sheer numbers helps.  It’s good to know the good fight is not fought alone.  There are others in my fox hole.

But that’s not enough all day everyday.  That’s not enough in the wee small hours of quiet.

It’s trust.  It’s faith.  It’s remembering that I didn’t make this family.  That I didn’t order up these children.  That I really didn’t make my own bed.  It’s accepting that these sweet babies are blessings, given to me, not out of being good enough or doing just the right things.  That I have no control of anything. 

Because these things tie into my other whisperings lately.  The fear issues I have.  I’ve been in more fear of losing this pregnancy, losing my children, losing my health this time around.  I have more fear that something will go wrong.  That I will lose these children.  That my house of cards so delicately placed will crumble.  And if I follow this thinking on down, I realize that my fears are all about me.  If I can do enough, be enough, I can control my circumstances.  I can hold together in this war. 

But friends come to mind immediately that ARE enough.  That DO enough.  And have still lost babies, children, both small and grown.  They’ve lost them to sickness, accidents, and grown-children waywardness.

These same mothers would be shocked and saddened that their losses have left me questioning my faith.  Their faith is so strong.  As big as the God they love.  And mine?  Much, much, desperately much less than a mustard seed. 

And so where does that leave me?  

Faithless, fearful, and angry at a God I no longer know.  I wonder at a God who allows ugliness that I can only run from in fear.

How did I get here?  So sure only a few years ago of a loving Father.  So sure of the Savior that I teach to my children daily.

I’m great at going through the motions.  I’m great at teaching what I know.  I’m great at knowing all the right answers.

And so while preparing for communion Sunday,  I knew I should pray.  I knew I should confess my sins.  It’s all so sterile.  It’s doing the next thing.

And I attempted to get real.  What did I have to confess?  Lots of things: my yelling, my impatience, my temper.  But that’s more of the same.  More following the steps.

When I unexpectedly prayed for forgiveness for my unbelief; the verse from Mark 9 came to mind.  Now, here’s a story that speaks right to my fears.  A father loves his child.  Has seen his child suffer for all his childhood.  He’s grasping at straws.  He hears of this “Healer” and decides he’ll try anything.  He says what anyone of us would say to someone that might could help our sweet baby, a prayer I’ve prayed many a time, when we’ve had a scare with the kiddos:

“But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

And Jesus’ response? 

” ‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

A rebuke.  I’m sure it didn’t even sting the dad so much.  I don’t think it would’ve me.  Who cares?  Just fix my child.  Yeah, really, I think that would be my attitude.

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” 

He reminded me with the verse that I had hidden in my heart that there were others before me that have been where I am.  Other parents even.

I talked with Matt about it all on the way home from church.  For the first time because, like my ancestors, I hide from everybody when I’m ashamed of my behavior.  I told him that I’ve continued to “do the right things”, keep my actions going forward, when the feeling is gone, obedience remains.  And he reminded me that if our belief in who He is crumbles, that our actions are useless.  “We’re nothing more than Ghandi, just not nearly as good.”  We talked of a Western viewed Santa God.  One that, when we really get to the the heart of it, we believe gives us good gifts.  To make us happy.  Our prayers focus on “bless me and others, if you can, God.”

I was floored.  So, again, I wondered where does that leave me?

That evening as I was getting everybody ready for bed and the loud chaos of “Have you brushed your teeth yet?  Have you pottied?  Why are you not in bed yet?  What do you mean you need more water?” insanity, my girl said, “Mama, tomorrow, can you look up something on the computer for me?  Can you look up how to follow God?”  And the din of the bedtimeness quieted in my ears.  I looked at her and she came into focus.  Everything else faded.  I told her that we could look that up tonight and that we didn’t need the computer to do that, we had God’s Word.  We went into the living room, told Daddy about our question and sat everyone down to listen as he read what Jesus had said about “following Him” in John 6.

MyOldest who had heard it all before, seemed surprised by the “we’ll never be good enough” part of our discussion.  The part where following Him, seeking His ways, and then doing them won’t ever make us sinless.  That we will always, forever, as long as we live - sin. 

I sat, listened, and cried as my daughter learned how to follow her God.  As she excitedly begged, “Can we pray right now Daddy?!”  And after explaining baptism to them once again, all three olders asked if they could call the church that night and be baptized.  (The boys had accepted on faith His saving us, before, but had never been baptized.)  Smiling, we explained that we would have to wait and talk to the church. 

And I took it all in. 

All of the belief around me.  The belief of children.  In a God that loves them in spite of their disobedience sometimes.  Their eyes sparkling.

I know that all of my focus on not being “enough”, not having enough time, patience, or anything for my children falls by the wayside of the bigger picture.  God had shined the light of Truth into the dark corners of the real issue.  The daily discontent I was struggling with was put into its proper place as the symptom of my true heartsickness. 

But, I still have that fear that something will happen in my life that I can’t control and will be devastating.  Will it be washed away with the water when my children are brought up out of the baptistry?  Probably not.  I will always want my children to be safe.  I will always mourn for those who aren’t.  I’m afraid I always will.  But I know in the days since I prayed earnestly for my unbelief and I saw in that same day help for that unbelief in the faces of my children who want to know and “follow” the God that I serve – that there was healing.  Of a questioning heart.  Of a wayward daughter who wants to come back down that long road, shamefaced, into the comforting and rejoicing arms of a Father who’s been waiting.

Teaching Your Two Year Old

April 1st, 2010

Y’all, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a young 2 year old.  And it’ll be a little while longer before I have another one, so remind me of some of the good stuff that I will inevitably leave out.

Just after BigMan turned 2 last year. Where does the time go?

As with all of my homeschooling I start with a rough idea of what they should know when.  Then I try to incorporate those things into our everyday life.  I watch to see what they enjoy and follow it.  And I don’t push.

What do you want your little one to know?  Make a list.  An actual, on-paper list.  A good place to start is to look at those checklists from your pediatrician.  Here’s just one example of a 2 year old skills checklist from a site called Preschool Education.  They should be working on gross motor skills (throwing a ball, learning to jump, kicking a ball), fine motor skills (stacking blocks, fitting blocks into correctly shaped holes, holding a crayon), identifying colors, body parts, people, naming the familiar things in their world.  Keep in mind these checklists are not for the skills in and of themselves.  As with all homeschooling – you want them to learn a skill to apply it elsewhere.  If they build fine muscle control – holding a pencil – it will make writing easier down the road.  If they learn hand/eye coordination it helps with real life learning later.  This is why it’s important to have a rough idea of what they should know and not obssess on ”a list”.  And I want mine to begin to understand values and less concrete notions too such as compassion and obedience. 

Once you have your list you can begin to see the world fitting into those categories.  “This will be good for her fine motor skills”, you’ll find yourself thinking as she plays with playdough and learns to use the cookie cutters with it.  “This cup she’s pouring into this other cup in the bath will teach her estimation, cause and effect, and sizes.”

Now that you have a list you need to know that some things, no matter how well they’re taught they will not be mastered until the child is developmentally ready to learn them.  And this can vary.  Greatly.  Just ask some of your mom friends what age their baby learned to crawl.  Wide range.  Same with all these.  I’ve had some children that “set aside” verbal skills while they learn to walk. 

Two year olds.  First of all, I label everything from birth on. ”I see a kitty.  Do you see that sweet kitty?”  As they get older, I get a little more intentional.  “See that white kitty?  I bet she feels soft.”  When I give them choices of sippy cups “Do you want the big pink cup or the little purple cup?” while holding them out to be chosen.  Over time, they’re learning colors, sizes, opposites, any and everything that you’re labeling.  And if you do it enough, it becomes part of your daily dialogue and not so “canned and artificial” feeling.  We count things.  While rocking on the porch I coo, “I see one car.  Oh, two cars passing by.  There goes number three.”  While I hand out little candies to them I count as I scoot them across the table.  When we see numbers in books I trace them with my finger and say the numbers.  At every bath time I name the body part I’m washing “Scrub your little head.  Wash those cheeks.  Get those shoulders.  I’m gonna wash that elbow.” 

You can clean out large juice bottles really well and give them clothes pins to drop in.  They must figure out the correct position of the clothes pin in order for it to drop.  They love to rattle it once it’s full (cause and effect – if I shake this, then this will happen).  And it’s fun to try to shake them all out afterwards.

Set your muffin pan out and let them put their cheerios into the different compartments.  Put one different colored M&M in each compartment and show them how to sort them by color into the different compartments.  Don’t expect them to get it.  Just show them and then let them do whatever they want with them.

Which toy “matches” another toy – another good game.

I always like the tactile games too.  Cut out a shape or letter from sandpaper and let them feel it.  Put cool whip in a ziplock and let them make shapes in it by squishing it around with their fingers.  Show them shapes, letters, and numbers in it.

We let our little ones play with a little ziplock in the bathtub sometimes (constantly supervised, of course).  We blow air into it and seal it for them.  “Watch it float!”, we say.  Then we fill it with water.  “What’s gonna happen next do you think?”, as they learn sequencing.  Find different (non typical) bathtub toys and let them guess whether they’ll sink or float.  Or simply tell them what it’s doing as it’s doing it.  “See?  The soap sinks.  But the empty cup floats.  Those are opposites – sink and float.”

As they finger paint tell them that red plus blue equals purple.  Use those words.  You’ve just taught art, chemistry, and math in one 3 second lesson.  Math is everywhere.  And if you can incorporate words they’ll need for school later, it won’t be such a learning curve then.

The same with values you want them to learn.  If you want them to “mind” you and you’ll eventually be teaching them the Commandments and Proverbs then why not use the word “obey”.  “It’s time to get in the car, you need to obey now.”  If they don’t want you to rinse their head in the tub because it scares them – use the word “trust”. “Trust Mama, it’s okay, you’ll just get wet and then it’ll all be over really quickly.”  If you want them to “be sweet” to the doggie, then why not say “gentle”.  They are concepts you want them to grasp anyway, now’s a great time.  “Be gentle, we don’t hit.”

One of the things we say is “We’re Parkers, we share.”  See, it’s not an option.  You’re one of us, it’s what we do.  We share. 

Freeze small objects (like their safe sized toys) in small cups and let them play outside with ice cubes on a hot day.  Talk about it.  Talk about same and similar things.  Talk about opposites.  Talk about the water.

Let them hold crayons and pencils.  Teach them the right way, but don’t demand it.  Just let them be.  I let my 2 year olds cut with safety scissors.  I always have.  I’ve also always had people balk at that.  That’s okay.  I don’t mind.  I sit with them.  I watch them.  I let them try.  Let them cut playdough with plastic playdough scissors.  It’s building hand strength.

I read to them.  And not just small children’s books.  Mine are now with me for the olders’ read alouds.  And I’ve been surprised how much even my older 2 year old remembered about Dickon loving animals from The Secret Garden. 

Let them dress or undress dolls.  Repeatedly until you want to scream.  With each “can you make this go, Mama?”  They’re learning more and more.

Let them help you sort clothes (learning sorting and colors) and put away silverware (sorting and sizes).

I love the Fisher Price site.  It has an online toddler section.  My little ones (even the babies) like the alphabet game where the animals make noises.  They like the peek-a-boo game on there too.  We used to own thePraise Baby dvd collection.  Oh, how we LOVED those.  Sometimes we would sing along, but alot of times we would just name all the objects and animals that came on the screen.

As they get to be older 2s I start working with them on “schoolwork”.  Usually just because they’re begging to be like their older brothers and sisters.  I wrote about some of the worksheets I’ve made up here.

My daughter loved some of the Kumon books – here’s an example of the cut and paste one MyPrincess loved: Let’s Cut Paper! (Kumon First Steps Workbooks).  Simple, bright, fun to do projects.

Read a lot of kid-friendly books.

We read and sing the nursery rhymes.

I love the fridge letters (thank you Maury!) Fridge Phonics Magnetic Letter Set We sing the little tunes that say the letter and the sound all the time.  Even when we’re not playing with them.
 

The main thing is to realize that your little one is already learning more than you could teach her intentionally at this point.  Though, it is fun to direct it!  Just know that the schools have “manipulatives” because they don’t have access to constant real life objects (like silverware, clothes, shoes, toys, groceries).  Take the checklist and view your world through the lens of what fits into what category.  I think you’ll be surprised at how much you’re already teaching.  You can homeschool.  You already are.