Updates and How I Potty Train

noteworthy for my memory that i forgot to add…

g was doing great potty training about 2 months ago and then stopped.  abruptly.  and so, as i have with the other two instead of stressing out and stressing her out i did what actually works.  i bought a box of diapers.  and got happy.  and took the pressure off.  and just the other day she decided she didn’t want to wear a diaper.  and that’s great.  we make it her decision.  so, “of course you can go without a diaper.”  her:  “yay!”  me:  “so, now you get to go in the potty like the big girl you are!”  notice the spin  ;)  and of course her counterpoint, “no!”  “oh, but, that’s how it goes – no diaper then yes potty.”  and it becomes her decision.  her power.  and we’re a few days in with one accident.  but flexible is the name of the game and if she decides that she wants (or needs however you see it) to have accidents again frequently then we’ll have the discussion again.  and we’ll go back to diapers.  and as long as we make it outside of us (one equals the other, it’s not just my whim, hence a power struggle ensues) then she has the decision.  and i have the knowledge that she won’t go off to college in diapers.  she’ll eventually decide that diapers just aren’t cool.

g also still has her paci.  i think she has officially passed my oldest’s age of when he gave up the paci.  we’ll eventually take it.  sometime in the next few months.  we let them keep it through the adjustment of the new baby.  and then with her we just haven’t gotten up our gumption to volunteer for the hell that will inevitably break loose when we pull it.  and like the above discussion i’m sure we’ll make it somehow her decision.  i’ll keep you updated.

j2, my youngest, has taken to the paci.  and sadly, for the cuteness factor, has given up his thumb and his lovey.  i’ve become the lovey and he’s traded the thumb for the paci.  but he’s a balance of his 2 older brothers.  he likes it, but doesn’t have to have it.  his oldest brother couldn’t live without it (just like their sister) and his other brother absolutely refused a paci.  so, i would imagine that he won’t keep the paci as long as his sister.  but, again, i have too many other things to worry about.  so we’ll fight that battle when it presents itself. 

'Tis The Season

December 7th, 2007

to double the zoloft.

this is one of the many reasons i’m not posting or commenting.  i had a new post ready to hit publish and my little man pushed the pretty red button on the power strip under the computer desk.  and then my tech geek husband had the computer rigged to show the monitor on our 34″ tv screen, which sounds like a good idea, trust me, it’s not. 

and i’m working on making christmas presents for my family.  all of them.  and i started 2 days ago.

and i somehow forgot how hard having a little one on the move is.  how many times have i pulled him from playing in the potty.  that my older ones never flush.  how many times have i had to set the trash can up because he’s pulled it over.  “we’re building immunity, we’re building immunity…”

how many times can i say, “where’s the baby?  have you seen the baby?”

how many times can i say, “no, you must have socks and shoes on to go out.  you cannot wear flip flops.  they do not count as shoes this time of year”?

how many times can i say “don’t run in the house.  don’t jump on the bed.  what’s in the baby’s mouth?”

little ones give new meaning to “cabin fever.”

oh, it’s going to be a long winter. 

Bird's Nest

November 7th, 2007

after talking about several different types of eggs we decided to try our hand at making a nest.  i asked my first grader ahead of time if he thought it would be as easy for us to make one as it is for the birds.  “no, because we don’t have a beak to cut the branches with.”

after weaving it together with the stuff that my 6, 4, and 2 year olds brought me i had them hold it and feel of it.  and asked them if they thought it was as good as the birds’ nests.  “um, yeah, well, no, because it’s not real strong.”  i asked if they thought it would hold eggs.  “no, not really.”  indeed.

and then j went inside, unprompted, to make “eggs” for the nest.  “they’re polka-dotted, mama.”

School

November 6th, 2007

i haven’t been updating school stuff lately partly because we’re just truckin’ along, we’ve taken a few breaks since daddy’s been home more lately and weather’s been awesome, and i’ve been in one of my insecure valleys.  don’t worry, as usual, it’s not severe or life-changing or anything, and it’s already passed, so all’s well.  i just cycle in and out.  no great biggie.  so anyway, here’s some of what’s going on.

my 6 year old:

reading:  he’s still trudging through a combination of hooked on phonics and teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons.  i’m not as strict on “we must do this lesson everyday”  partly because i realized he was flying through hooked on phonics because he had such a good foundation on 100 easy lessons.  so to break up the monotany of 100 easy lessons we read some out of hooked on phonics.  and i’m having him read more “real life” around the house stuff and instructions on worksheets.

math:  definitely one of his strong subjects.  he can remember sums that i have to count on my fingers.  and he doesn’t mind it at all.  i’ve set singapore math aside for the time being (only because we don’t have the money for the workbooks right now) and am working on “real life” money, time, and number sentence worksheets.  this is the area where i assign “homework”, in other words teaching him to work on his own.

handwriting:  still a monumental battle.  ever. y. day.  but along we trudge.  trudge.  trudge.  i’ve quit having him write out Bible verses or even just letters and words on paper for no reason other than to practice.  now i have him write out his answers to questions on other worksheets, i have him write out what he wants written about his superheroes in coloring books.  he does better with a purpose (don’t we all?).  he’s still getting almost half of his letters backwards.  but i sit with him more and remind him as he writes instead of correcting his work after he’s done it.  definitely an area that i’m glad he’s home and i can change my teaching to what he needs right now.  a lot like our reading also.

my 4 year old:

reading: we’re going through 100 easy lessons with amazing progress.  i started him because he wanted to read like big brother.  but he has taken to it like a fish out of water.  and now i understand why people rave about this book.  he loves it.  hooked on phonics is going a little fast for him right now, so we’re getting ahead in 100 easy lessons and will revisit hooked on phonics later.

handwriting:  just practicing his letters and numbers on worksheets that we have.

math:  typical pre-k stuff.  which is more?  learning our numbers.  learning to add.  and anything that trickles down from brother.

i work individually with them on the above subjects and work together with them on science, social studies, history, Bible lessons, spanish, and read-alouds.

spanish:  maury gave me a workbook that’s too advanced right now – lots of reading and writing involved.  so, i brushed up on some of my basics from it: months, days, colors, numbers, body parts and i use them as i think of them.

science:  we make fun!  we watch lots of man vs. wild, the magic school bus, dirtiest jobs, and, of course! mythbusters.  and we discuss all of these at length.  we observe everything – including our rotting pumpkin! – and i have them tell what they observe in at least 3 complete sentences, i write out it for them, read it back to them, and post it.  (the writing we only do about once a week).

social studies:  we discuss as it comes up – columbus day, halloween, map-making, this is usually incorporated into our history and read-alouds.

history:  also combined.  we’re reading through the Little House series and are discussing all the differences from now to then.  i just discovered that the hallmark channel is showing the little house series and i’ve begun taping it – my oldest watched it with joy yesterday!  we’ll unit-study pilgrims and indians this month and have a dress-up party with the drapers for thanksgiving.  we have an actual history book, but i only use it about once every 2 or 3 weeks.  we’re studying colonies in it and it will fit nicely with thanksgiving.  i’m planning to start a time-line on their wall (way up high – out of my girl’s reach!) so that they can begin to “see” history as we study all the different parts – from the Christmas story next month, to paul, to the colonies, to little house – we jump around alot and it will be nice to get an idea visually of what we’re talking about.  i’ll also put the maps back on the wall – thanks to my 2 year old! – and we’ll continue to map everything as it comes up.  like laura’s trek from the big woods to the prairie, when we read a little written for younguns “around the world in eighty days story” we marked all the stops they made, we talk about where paul traveled and where he met lydia when we discuss the color purple/morado, and the royal soldiers uniforms – which also led to a study of the full of armor of God.  eclectic to say the least!

read alouds:  i’m loving!  and probably have too many irons in the fire, but they seem to love it and know exactly where we are in each.  they also each have their favorites.  we’re reading Little House, Ramona the Pest, and Charlotte’s Web.  my oldest loves them all.  my 4 year old’s favorite is Charlotte’s Web.  i just read whenever i can.  it’s scattered, as with all of our schooling!

i included some of our work, if you’re a goofball, like me, and want to really look at the kiddos’ work i left it really large so that you can get a closer look when you click on the thumbnails.  (sorry about the blurriness)  yes, i really do like looking at other kids’ work!  so in case y’all are out there here’s a little of my brag book.

I'm From

i’ve seen this on others’ blogs and i loved it.  it will be a work in progress, added to as i think of new stuff. 

collecting cicada shells with my cousins, hearing their songs in the evening.  chasing lightening bugs ”there’s one!”  “where?”  “there! no, wait.  over there!”  hearing whipporwills as the sun goes down.  watching turtles lay eggs and waiting for them to hatch.  killing copperheads with the hoe.

i’m from tomatoes in the garden every year.  5 gallon buckets of cucumbers and tomatoes in the kitchen.  pickling jars lined up on the counter.  dill pickles.  little whole sweet pickles.  bread and butter pickles.  cucumbers and onions in vinegar and sugar.  tomato juice.  canned tomatoes.  homemade rotel frozen for winter in tupperware.  fresh tomatoes with mixed ranch dressing on top.  digging potatoes out of the dirt with worms crawling around.

i’m from a house and yard always in process of something.  homemade brick paths.  homemade wooden decks.  hand-laid wood floors.  ripping up carpet.  hanging wall-paper.

i’m from fishing in the spring.  eating fresh-caught crappie with smothered potatoes and onions. 

i’m from “sit still, gal.”  “sally goodin’”  “sally ann”  “whatcha think this is?  your birthday?”  “you can do anything you put your mind to.”  “when you think you can’t go any further, then you go some more.”  “when you start something you finish it.”  “you’re as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”  “don’t get in a piss fight with a skunk.”  “get up, girl, we’ve got people to see, places to go, and things to do.”  “turn out those lights when you leave the room.”  “hey, hollywood.”

i’m from summer vacations every year.  the beach, the mountains, washington, d.c.  laying out in the sun to “get a tan.” 

i’m from a city girl and a country boy.  i’m from a teacher and an ap&l man.  notes in my lunch bag.  long afternoons at school with my mama.  being allowed to make bulletin boards for her and help grade papers.

i’m from sledding down hills on “sleds” made of cardboard boxes.  a playhouse made from an old metal building.  a dollhouse made with the same interior as my own house.  learning my multiplication tables with daddy at the kitchen table.  making a “robot” out of “burple” containers, spools of thread, tinfoil, and a roll-around shelf. 

i’m from neapolitan ice cream at my grandmother’s house.  avoiding horse racing season because of the traffic.  mcclard’s barbeque.   orange julius.

i’m from drinking coffee with cream and sugar in the mornings with my mama and daddy.  homemade biscuits and gravy in the mornin’s.  fried bologna and fried weinies and fried eggs.

i’m from willie, waylon, and the boys.  watching the cosby show as a family.  watching the miss america pageant every year and picking our favorite.  falling asleep on my daddy’s chest while football played every weekend.  rooting for the hogs.  talking football before the games.  keeping up with news and current events and who’s running for president.

i’m from taking clothes in from the line.  listening to the swish, swish sound of my daddy polishing his shoes at the end of his bed in the mornings.  listening to the spray-hiss of my daddy starching and ironing his clothes.

i’m from organization.  containers for everything. 

i’m from fish in aquariums.  hamsters in cages.  dogs outside.  cats.  always cats. 

i’m from picking blackberries when it’s hot.  eating them off the vine.  savoring blackberry cobbler warm from the oven. 

i’m from shaking the popcorn around in a pan of oil on the stove.  yelling, “i’ll get it!” when the phone rings and trying to beat my sister to it.  walking around the kitchen twirling the phone cord on my fingers while talking.  taking the first cordless phone down the driveway to see “how far it will go.”  commodore 64/128 and printers that make so much noise when they print out a banner for a birthday.

i’m from exploring the woods.  playing with frogs.  picking ticks off the dogs.  chasing lizards.

Where I Relapsed Into A First Time Mom Again

September 6th, 2007

 don’t get offended it’s just a simple truth (most of the time, anyway) that first-time mom’s are a little more “over the top” shall we say, when it comes to over-analyzing their newborn’s every move than a mom who has 4 children.

 but i did it. 

i actually googled “6 month old not rolling over” 

yes, i really did.

even though i know logically that he is capable of doing it.  i have seen him go from belly to back once or twice.  and my mama-sense wasn’t telling me anything was wrong.  and i have 3 others who have met all of their milestones at completely different times.  and he technically has about a week and a half left before he’s 6 months old.  but i thought back to my first child and pondered that he was crawling by about 7 months and walking by 10 months.  and after the pediatrician already moved the milestone to 6 months from 4 months since my last child was this age and he still wasn’t meeting it, i went looking for other mamas who had worried about their little ones.  and i found what i knew i would find.  what i would tell any first-time mama who asked me the same question.  “he’s fine.  be patient.  every child is different.  you can’t compare kids.  he’ll do it.” 

and today i found him in the playpen in a position i didn’t leave him in.  on his belly.

Yeah, So The Other Day...

September 4th, 2007

i got an actual migraine, puked for hours, and called my husband to come home from work and take care of the kids.

and what brought this on, you ask?

a trip to walmart with 4 small children.  ok, so not just that.  but that was the next to last stop in a 6 hour trip to town.  and ironically, the last stop was to get my zoloft.  yeah, you can laugh.  or judge.  i don’t really care after that trip.

it all started because we needed milk.  so, i decided to “run” to town.  oh, and we need diapers and wipes.  i need to pick up my meds.  “could you get the oil changed while you’re in town?”  and since i’m already out, maybe i could take the kids to the playland as a treat.  throw in a sonic stop, a potty-training toddler and a nursing baby and six hours later i’m growling at my kids in walmart and walking into the new small-town pharmacy completely oblivious to the mama-milk so attractively leaking through my shirt; raving to the pharmacy tech about how i just saved $40.00 on zoloft!

who wouldn’t puke?

Cinnamon Rolls from Canned Biscuits

August 23rd, 2007

my honey came up with this recipe the other day.

 oh. my.

yummy.  if you’re a health nut just stop reading right here – you’ll freak out just reading about it!  the more of everything, the better tasting!

start with generic biscuits

                                                                     cut them spirally 

unroll them

butter them – the best way i found is just to scoop and smear!

sugar them

cinnamon them

roll ‘em back up (i also smear them around in all the left over sugar and cinnamon that’s on the cutting board after i roll them up, the more the better, i say!), spray your baking pan, set ‘em in there, and bake them about 25 degrees less than the package calls for and for about 10 minutes more than it calls for (but you’ll have to check this – because i don’t ever pay attention to the time, i just check ‘em!)

while they’re baking…

for your icing - take about 3 tablespoons butter and mix with about 2 cups powdered sugar.  this is gonna take a bunch of stirring.  it will eventually look like icing.  you may have to add more of either or both to get it to the right consistency (again, i don’t pay a lot of attention to the measurements, i just add stuff.)  also, we love to add cream cheese (melt it a little before stirring into your icing).

when the rolls are done, drizzle your icing over them and serve hot!

Learning To Subtract

August 21st, 2007

i wish this was my idea.  it actually came out of my singapore math workbook for my oldest.  i drew the rabbit on an envelope the boys colored the rabbit.  then i drew the carrots on my oldest’s card and he numbered them.  on my 4 year old’s i wrote the numbers and drew the carrots – way cute – i didn’t upload those pics, though!  they cut the cards and the envelope flap off.  and then we slid the carrots into the envelope (the rabbit’s mouth) while saying the subtracting math problems.  we all loved it!  this math series is awesome!

    

4 carrots

4 carrots minus the 1 the rabbit ate equals 3

4 carrots minus the 2 he ate equals 2

4 carrots minus the 3 he ate equals 1

Fire Station Field Trip

August 10th, 2007

awesome! 

last year when my oldest went to public school oh so briefly we pulled him out the week they were having fire prevention awareness week.  he never got his hat or coloring book.  ah, the parental guilt.  guilt no more.  i think i may have made up for it. 

if you call your nearest station and make an appointment they LOVE kids and parents to take a tour.  so cool.  we got to see where they eat dinner (oh, how i want their over-sized table!).  the firefighters came down the pole for us.  we were there for them leaving for an actual rescue.  and we learned SO much.  like we have a bomb squad in little rock, who knew?  the kids practiced how to make a 911 call with a recorded operator.  he taught them how to climb out a window.  and that kids often sleep through smoke detectors (mine do – i routinely burn dinner after their bedtime) but for about $10 they have recordable smoke detectors that you can call their name and tell them what to do (it alternates the voice with the typical alarm).  amazing how your sheep know your voice.  we’ll be getting one of them. 

living the good life and sugar and spice met us in little rock for our field trip.  with 1 extra friend thrown in the mix we had a total of 4 adults (my hubby went with us!) and 12 kids!

Don't Miss It

July 27th, 2007

i would like to take a moment to address some concerns about having parker4. and i figured this was as good a place as any to do just that.FAQs
yes, it is hard. yes, it is even harder having several so close together (so i hear) although, i wouldn’t really know, since this is the only reality i have to draw from. no, they don’t get as much as they would have if there were only one or two of them. yes, i have to sacrifice – time, money, wants, alone time, sanity, sleep. yes, i do have my “hands full”. and my personal favorite – yes, i know what causes this.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF LOVING KIDS
i always knew i wanted to work with kids. i just didn’t know what that looked like. i babysat. i majored in elementary ed. i worked/lived in the wilderness 8 weeks as a girl scout camp counselor with sixteen 8 year olds. i worked daycare as the only care-taker of nine 18-36 month olds. i taught 4 year old pre-k. multiple children in one place doesn’t scare me. i remember vividly praying when i was at college that God would teach me patience. He has been faithful. He put a desire in my heart to have a bunch of babies. and now He’s giving me the chance to practice.

WHY
why not just work with kids like i started out doing? that was not my calling. that’s not the desire in my heart. it just was never quite right. there was more. when pearl and i got married i knew i wanted kids. he knew i wanted kids. i knew he didn’t really want kids, but that he would compromise. neither one of us wanted them for a LONG time. hey, we had partying to do, yo. “maybe in 2 years” 2 years came and we still weren’t ready. but God had other plans and along came boy1. i wasn’t sure if i was going to stay home. pearl’s mom did, mine didn’t. i wasn’t sold. i was loving the downtown little rock high life. but i got laid off in the dot-com industry crash, and it’s hard to find good work when you’re 6 months pregnant. so i decided to stay home. pearl and his brother are 2 1/2 years apart. and i loved seeing how close they were. my sisters are 8 and 11 years older than me. i grew up an only child, kinda. with 3 moms, basically. not fun. i also knew i wanted several kids. so the equation was coming together. for my sake – i wanted several kids. for their sake i wanted them close in age. pearl’s best memories are of his first 5 years of life with his mom. this is what i wanted for my kids. i knew the inside of the daycare industry and i knew i didn’t want my kids there. my mom nannied when i was in high school and i saw those babies grow and call my mom “mama”. i translated for 2 and 3 year olds at day care for their parents who couldn’t understand their words, but i, a young college single, spent more waking hours with their babies than they did. these were not the things i wanted for my family. i’m not judging. i’m not making a statement about what should be for everyone. i’m saying this is the direction I was being led. and how we got where we are.

THE FIRST 3 PARKERS
boy1 came along and when he was 3 months old i was ready to go again. i got pregnant with boy2 (with 2 months of trying) when boy1 was 10 months old. when boy2 turned a year old and i wasn’t pregnant i was a little sad, but not quite ready yet. the morning we learned a friend’s baby was born – the fever hit. let me also back up. pearl didn’t want kids. and was petrified while i was pregnant with boy1. about 3 months after he was born he was sold. absolultely lovin’ the one we had and ready for more. same with girl1. he’s ready to be done now. i could keep going. so we’re compromising. one more.

DON’T MISS IT
why would i want this?
could i be having more fun? seriously. i LOVE watching them. learn, play, fight, grow. i love how much they’re teaching me. about love. love – watching my honey with them… could i be more in love with him? love – learning what unconditional means. love – seeing how discipline and love go hand in hand. i love the questions they ask. i love watching them sleep. i love nursing my babies. i love being pregnant. i love knowing God is growing a baby in there. that He’s knitting the details where i can’t see. i love the surprise of their birth. i love their smell. i love even the big-kids-playing-outside-top-of-their-head smell. i love how they interact with each other. i love how they love playing with their daddy. i love how they look packed like sardines across the back of the corolla. i love pick-ups, and hands-in-the-air-please-hold-me-mama looks. i love when they learn that first joke. and they realize the world is funny and they can create some that. i love the pictures they make and asking, “tell me all about it” because i can’t tell anything about it. i love their eyes when you tell them you got ‘em a surprise. i love seeing who they are and waiting to see who God made them to be. i love when they hold my hand and the softness of that hold. i love when they say, “i wuv wu mama” i love that they are as excited as me to get another brother or sister. i love how they make up games like catch the bouncy ball with the upside down bucket. i love when they discovered crisco while i wasn’t looking. i love how they take care of each other and then beat each other to a pulp the next second. i love the fingerprints all over everything.

WHAT I KNOW
i know we don’t have much money. i know that more babies puts a strain on the pocketbook and add more sleep deprivation. i know the chaos is not always joyful. i get tired, frustrated, fed up, and angry. the patience isn’t just handed over on a silver platter, after all. but it is given. i know that what i have is priceless at the end of the day. i know i wouldn’t trade what i have for all the money and time and sleep i’ve given up. i know this won’t last forever. i know it’s going faster everyday. i know God said they are a blessing from Him. i know He’s right.

i know i don’t want to miss this.

My Pregnancy In Numbers (Up to baby 4)

written when i was pregnant with my 4th child.

my pregnancy in numbers

this is my 4th child in 4 years.
when this baby is born i will have a 5 yr old, a 3 yr old, and a 1 yr old. within a month, i will have a 5 year old, a newborn, a 4 year old birthday party and a 2 year old birthday party.
i have had 5 periods since december of 2000 – 6 years.
when the doctor asks me when the first day of my last period was, my answer will be, “june 2004.”
in six years i’ve been pregnant a total of 28 months so far. that’s roughly 850 days of my life. so far. by the end of this one it will be 64 months = roughly 1,934 days.
i’ve nursed a total 40 months so far. that’s 3 years and 4 months. i hope to nurse at least a year, probably more since it will be my last so that will be a minimum of 52 months, 1,466 days.
but, it’s just life to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s all that crazy until somebody in the grocery store says, “geez, you’ve got your hands full, don’t ya?”

The Story

(written by my Matt Parker)

Biography

IN THE BEGINNING:
We began to be us in the summer of 1999. Before that time we were me and her…or something. Anyway, 1999 places me in northeast Arkansas and Suzanne in southeast Arkansas working for a children’s home. Through the providential hand of God, we somehow ended up together after several years of a sometimes shaky friendship. To make a long story a little less long…it was love at 148th sight (all figures approximate). We were married in 1999.
We bumped along for a couple of years, working hard to develop the perfect dysfunctional relationship. We did a pretty good job of severing ties with everyone we knew and cared about. We have also done our share of moving around. We moved from northeast Arkansas to Mississippi, to southeast Arkansas, 3 more moves, and eventually back to southeast Arkansas.
LET THE WAKE BEGIN:
We have left many friends, acquantinces, and enemies in our wake over the past several years. It is for this reason, at least in part, that I write this. I hope to share our hearts with people we see or hear from that have known me or Suzanne. I want to set the record straight. We have done much wrong and a little right. If you are in the “done wrong” category (and there are a bunch of you) we sincerely and deeply apologize. We want to make it right with you.
A LITTLE EXPLANATION:
Our shortcomings, together and individualy, stem from a misallocation of priorities and goals. Initially, we each unconsciously decided to seek the best/easiest route to find normalcy in life. Seeking stability and the pursuit of happiness, we made some mistakes that have had some pretty severe consequences. Our most prominent and ill rewarded mistake was our decision to “put” God way down there on our priority list (way, way, way down). This led to a string of bad decisions. It has proven to have had a domino effect in our lives. We have YEARS ahead of untangling some of these mistakes, and we have some that will never be completely untangled.
MORE SPECIFICALLY:
To make this more applicable to the “done wrongs”, I will try to go over some of the most grievous offenses we have commited. First, our friends and families, got hung out to dry during our rebellion to God. We have had, and amazingly still have some of, the greatest friends and family ever. I apologize to you “done wrongs” for being too selfish to further develop deep, meaningful relationships. With no Christ-focus, we did not see the importance of loving the people we were around as Jesus loves them. We were selfish, petty, lazy, unkind, and uncaring. So to our parents,David, Brian, Kenney & Elizabeth, Jessie, Tom & Meredith, Jim & Danell, Brandon, Bill & Shereefa, Steve & Kim, Chris & Stacy, Michelle, Jeff & Farah, Terry & Dymphna, Andy & Linda, Brock & Mike, Juanita & Webb, Mike, Tadd, Robb, Russell, David & Deeny, Sara, April, Dallas & Olethea, Bart & Amy, Doug, Jeff & Summer, Melanie, Peyton, Straight Burger, Young Bucks, Brannon, Sarah, Nikki, Josh, Kevin & Lisa, Amanda, Trish, Joanne, Keith & Pam, Lisa, Jeff, Steve, Danny & Leanna, Angela, Vu, and Danny, I am truly sorry. I know there are more of you who should be included in the “done wrong” listing. To all of you, we are deeply troubled over not being the friends we could have and should have been. We want to make it right! Please be patient with us as we try to correct our mistakes over the next few months and years.
OUR REDIRECTION:
I think the story of Jonah, the Old Testament prophet, best summarizes our story. In many ways I find myself to be a lot like Jonah. Jonah, in brief, knew God. God called him up to go do some work. Jonah split the scene and began a journey running from God. After a little “correction” from God, Jonah set out to do God’s will. This story pretty much sums up our story. We, like Jonah, knew God, but we decided to not to do the work he was sending us to do. If I have learned anything about God in the last 10 years, it has to be the truth in the idea that you can run from God, but you cannot hide! So after a little correction, we finally moved on toward God’s will. I still carry alot of Jonahness with me, but now I know that there are only two roads in life…God’s Will Blvd. or Harder Than Hades Highway. God has shown us that there is peace and joy in following Him, and there is heartache and misery in not.
THE ROAD TO TARSUS:
While running from God, we realized that religion is not all that it is cracked up to be. The churches on the toll road to Tarsus were full of hypocrites and misguided zealots. We were glad to have been finally enlightened concerning this obvious fact. One problem that we never were able to solve however was our own hypocrisy. Anyway, as we traveled further from God, it became less bothersome to travel away from God. We realized that the road was long, dusty, and riddled with potholes, but we thought that the infrastructure of life was just so. We moved from bad decisions to worse decisions. This is where a lot of the friend and family “done wrongs” began to pile up. Nevertheless, we were somehow “satisfied” with this lack luster existence. With all of the traveling, there was very little time to stop, rest, and think. We were very reactive to everything going on in our lives, and we did little to plan for the coming weeks, months, or years. We finally made it to the sea port and boarded a ship bound for “Far Away From God.” By this time we had all but forgotten that we were even running. We were living the life! The salt air was nice and you should’ve seen the sunsets…, but still there was plenty to complain about. One day, while taking a nap in the depths of the ship, I was awakened by my beloved mate Suzanne. She stood holding a little white stick with a little window on it. She urged me to look in the window of the little stick. Huh…two little pink lines. The next thing I knew there were people casting lots, and I wasn’t getting any sevens. Overboard we go. My panic of drowning was quickly replaced by my fear of large fish. Guuulllp. Let me tell you, it stinks inside a fish. There is absolutely only one good thing about being inside of a fish. The inside of a fish is a great place to think. “I don’t want kids…I don’t think…do I?…I have got to get a good paying job…I need insurance…why is Suzanne so excited about this while I am so scared?…how do you raise a kid?…….HOW DO YOU RAISE A CHILD?!!” I began to think much more deeply than I was familiar with. The thought of raising a child was quickly making me realize that I needed to be doing something differently. I began to think about what was really important in life. More than anything else, what do I HAVE to teach this child? The answer to the question was clear, but I kept asking myself the same question over and over anyway. Every time I asked, the answer would come back clearer. I guess there is something about the stomach lining of a fish that filters the murkiness out of answers to importan questions. Over the course of several months in the fish I realized that the most important thing to pass on to my child was life. How simple is that. I want this child to have real life! I want the road that my child takes to be much better than that one I took down to the sea port. I don’t want potholes and dust for my baby. In my heart I knew that the only road that I could trust my baby with is the road that leads back toward God. And so it was. Suzanne and I called out to God. “God, we know you know a better way for our baby and for us. If you will still have us…”, and I think it was mid-sentence that God made that fish nauseated. Suzanne and I found ourselves (and our new baby) on some remote shore-line.
ON TO NINEVEH:
Amazingly, we discovered that God does not wait on us to get where he told us to go before he will talk to you. Nothing had changed! We were the same people with all of the same consequences we had before we responded to God’s calling. We still had the same dysfunctional relationship with each other and with our friends and family. The new road we found had potholes too! We quickly learned that the new road was in many ways harder than the old road. To brave the new road, we would need to develop some new habits. We will need discipline, tenacity, compassion, and love. We are in the process of walking on this road now. It does make more sense now than it did a couple of years ago, but there are still days when we stop and sulk under the shade trees on the side of the road. We have a lifetime ahead of walking toward Jesus. We have found that the new road, though challenging at times, is full of joyful sights. There are also watering holes lining this road. On that old road, we hardly ever got a refreshing drink! Now, peace and rest is abundant. We get to stop and be reinvigorated regularly. Suzanne and I are excited about what lies around the next corner! We hope that it is you! If it is, we will all have to stop at the next watering hole and drink in the goodness of Christ together.
IF YOUR BURDEN IS HEAVY:
I know that the Jonah analogy may have gotten a little out of hand, ok…way out of hand, but the truth of the matter is quite simple. Jesus said, “Come to me if you’re tired and weighed down with burdens, and I’ll give you rest.” We don’t have to wonder if He wants us. He plainly told us to come on with Him. He’s not asking for GREAT men and women to get everything just right and then come to him and say “I’ll see you at church Sunday Jesus, but I got to get some stuff right before we can talk.” We like people to get a bath and put on some deodorant before they come over to our house, but Jesus isn’t like us. He says, “Come on over and get a bath at My house and you will never need another bath again.” He knows you are dirty. He knows you are tired, and He still wants you to come over because He cares for you.
Knowing God is not about church and religion. It is simply realizing that God loves you so much that He sent His own Son to die for YOU…dirty tired old you. If you will stop walking away from Him, turn around, and ask Jesus to lead you in a new direction, He will do it. God says in the bible that if we admit that we are going the wrong way, He is faithful to forgive us of our sin. I would urge you not to wait on a fish to swallow you before you stop to think about what is really important in life. If you think this is hogwash, and want to tell me so, e-mail or call me. If you think this is exactly what you need in your life, and you want to talk about it, e-mail or call me. Suzanne and I are moving toward God (although sometimes slowly) and we need your patience and graciousness. As I stated earlier, I know we have made alot of poor decisions, but we want to make it right. Come and join us in the Sonlight!
In Him,
Us

What's Goin' On 'Round Here

July 7th, 2007

(aka the grandparents’ post and homeschooling post)

let’s see, an update…

we are waiting for our small group to start at church.  we like our group and are excited about this.  we’ve also joined a homeschool group and are looking forward to that starting up.  we’ve braved the library reading club this summer and it’s going well.  we’ve made a couple of friends (the hartley’s and maury’s crew) and that’s encouraging.

my oldest

is reading.  not avidly or excitedly, but sometimes actually tries it on his own.  we are using a combination of teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons, more often hooked on phonics, and occasionally just a “will you read your book to me please?”

handwriting is not by any curriculum.  i write out a Bible verse and he copies it or if he’s really excited about something, like snakes this week, then i’ll write out the name of his favorite snake and he’ll copy it or i’ll dictate it to him and get him to write it phonetically.  or i’ll just see that he’s been writing on some of his superhero pictures and call it good.

math is still using singapore math.  i love it.  i love it.  can i say again, i love it?!  we’re 2 pages from being through with the current workbook, he’ll start the last workbook in the kindergarten series next week.  then we’ll move on to the first grade primer when it is finished.  it’s hands on.  it’s colorful.  it’s quick and painless.  it’s easy for me to set up the hands on stuff.  it moves at a pace that he can handle.  i love it.

science is everywhere.  anything that sparks his interest we will research.  right now, as i mentioned, that’s snakes.  we have a poster from the arkansas game and fish commission.  we have a book from the library.  we watched diego and learned about anacondas.  we drew pictures of speckled king snakes.  we learned vocabulary words: venomous, constrictor, habitat, predator, prey.  we did art projects to make twirly snakes.  i would like to get a curriculum for the new school year, though, to actually follow something and i’m sure we’ll continue to supplement with our newest interests.  some of the prior interests have been planets, owls, ducks, how the stomach works, tornadoes, non-newtonian liquids, turtles, and rabbits.

still wanting to do spanish.  i’m teaching them the few things that i already know.

geography is done through osmosis as my friend does!

i’m excited about starting history, but i’m forcing myself to wait a few years.  i can’t wait to learn this one, myself!!

Bible is not a curriculum for us.  it’s in everything.  our church is reading ephesians weekly – one chapter a day monday through saturday and then rereading it each week this way for the rest of the summer.  so i’ve been reading this out loud to the kiddos while they run around and play.  are they getting it?  i don’t know, but maybe.  and we talk about what they’re learning at church because their classes are awesome!

my 4 year old boy

is learning his alphabet using teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons and everything i can find.  magazines, preschool workbooks, library books, you know, preschool fun stuff.

his handwriting is learning to write the letters he’s learning and learning to write his name.

he’s doing singapore math also.  he’s almost finished with the first wookbook of pre-k.  i love it, have i mentioned this?

he joins in all the science and geography stuff the rest of the family is doing.

he is so funny.  “oh, snap.”  “that’s genius, my man.”  “hey, dude.”  are used frequently with a straight face.  he keeps me rolling!

he’s really questioning all things of faith.  i’ve been praying for him very much.  he wants to know all about Jesus.  a curiosity that’s amazing to me.

my 2 year old girl

oh.  my.  she is still the same as always.

she almost has those colors down.

and she says things like, “i read to you, mama.”  and then uses this sing-song voice to tell me the stories page by page.  too funny.

she is almost potty trained.  she decided this.  i’d have chosen to wait a while.  but she decided it and we followed suit.  she only wears a diaper at naptime and bedtime and when we go to town now.  i’ll eventually get brave enough to venture out without one!  we have used candy bribes in the past, but since she’s the third and her brothers think she hung the moon, we haven’t had to this time.  she has a little musical potty that plays when she goes.  so everybody, short of daisy and the baby, go running to see the “results” when they hear the music.  and when she pees outside she stands up and holds her tt (the way her brothers do).  oh. my.

the littlest

is 3 1/2 months.

sucks his thumb and holds a little blankie to put himself to sleep.  it is so cute.  i’m working on getting a picture of this.

he kind of likes his daddy a little more now.  he will smile and laugh at him.  but still doesn’t want matt to hold him.  if matt holds him more than about 2-5 minutes he starts screaming.

he can bring toys to his mouth.

he’s teething something terrible.

he requires a quiet nursing time with me in the afternoon or he will scream for hours on end.

the ergo has saved my life.

he rolled over one day several times.  and hasn’t again.  he will when he gets ready, not too worried about it.

expanding the parker family

either not for a long time or never.

something occurred to me last night while i was putting everybody to bed and my girl and my littlest were screaming the loudest.  i’ve always said that God gives us who He wants us to have in our family when He wants us to have them.  we were set up to have more kiddos when our second boy was 2 and our girl was an infant because the second boy’s toddlerhood was calm and my girl’s infancy was a dream.  seeing as how my girl’s toddlerhood is ridiculous and my littlest’s infancy is as insane as her toddlerhood.  well, let’s just say, i’m done.  and i’m loving homeschooling so much that i can’t wait to get everybody going at once.  and i’m enjoying each moment now and not looking forward to the next one so much.  and i like that i will be joining the rest of the family and not always sitting on the sidelines pregnant, nursing, or holding a baby.  it feels good.

to sum up

the medicine is working.  so everything looks better.  and life is pretty good.  it’s not all roses.  and i’ll be sure to post on the thorns along the way.  remember, it always sounds better than it really is when you highlight only the best parts of your life.  if you’ve stayed with me this long you’re probably a grandparent and i wanted to tell you that i LOVE that you grandmas are commenting.  i read them to the kiddos and i feel like you’re more connected with us.  and if you’re not a grandparent and you made it this far, wow.  you’re really devoted and i love you!  let me know you’re here!

What's Going On Around Here

July 7th, 2007

(aka the grandparents’ post and homeschooling post)

let’s see, an update…

we are waiting for our small group to start at church.  we like our group and are excited about this.  we’ve also joined a homeschool group and are looking forward to that starting up.  we’ve braved the library reading club this summer and it’s going well.  we’ve made a couple of friends (the hartley’s and maury’s crew) and that’s encouraging.

my oldest

is reading.  not avidly or excitedly, but sometimes actually tries it on his own.  we are using a combination of teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons, more often hooked on phonics, and occasionally just a “will you read your book to me please?”

handwriting is not by any curriculum.  i write out a Bible verse and he copies it or if he’s really excited about something, like snakes this week, then i’ll write out the name of his favorite snake and he’ll copy it or i’ll dictate it to him and get him to write it phonetically.  or i’ll just see that he’s been writing on some of his superhero pictures and call it good.

math is still using singapore math.  i love it.  i love it.  can i say again, i love it?!  we’re 2 pages from being through with the current workbook, he’ll start the last workbook in the kindergarten series next week.  then we’ll move on to the first grade primer when it is finished.  it’s hands on.  it’s colorful.  it’s quick and painless.  it’s easy for me to set up the hands on stuff.  it moves at a pace that he can handle.  i love it.

science is everywhere.  anything that sparks his interest we will research.  right now, as i mentioned, that’s snakes.  we have a poster from the arkansas game and fish commission.  we have a book from the library.  we watched diego and learned about anacondas.  we drew pictures of speckled king snakes.  we learned vocabulary words: venomous, constrictor, habitat, predator, prey.  we did art projects to make twirly snakes.  i would like to get a curriculum for the new school year, though, to actually follow something and i’m sure we’ll continue to supplement with our newest interests.  some of the prior interests have been planets, owls, ducks, how the stomach works, tornadoes, non-newtonian liquids, turtles, and rabbits.

still wanting to do spanish.  i’m teaching them the few things that i already know.

geography is done through osmosis as my friend does!

i’m excited about starting history, but i’m forcing myself to wait a few years.  i can’t wait to learn this one, myself!!

Bible is not a curriculum for us.  it’s in everything.  our church is reading ephesians weekly – one chapter a day monday through saturday and then rereading it each week this way for the rest of the summer.  so i’ve been reading this out loud to the kiddos while they run around and play.  are they getting it?  i don’t know, but maybe.  and we talk about what they’re learning at church because their classes are awesome!

my 4 year old boy

is learning his alphabet using teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons and everything i can find.  magazines, preschool workbooks, library books, you know, preschool fun stuff.

his handwriting is learning to write the letters he’s learning and learning to write his name.

he’s doing singapore math also.  he’s almost finished with the first wookbook of pre-k.  i love it, have i mentioned this?

he joins in all the science and geography stuff the rest of the family is doing.

he is so funny.  “oh, snap.”  “that’s genius, my man.”  “hey, dude.”  are used frequently with a straight face.  he keeps me rolling!

he’s really questioning all things of faith.  i’ve been praying for him very much.  he wants to know all about Jesus.  a curiosity that’s amazing to me.

my 2 year old girl

oh.  my.  she is still the same as always.

she almost has those colors down.

and she says things like, “i read to you, mama.”  and then uses this sing-song voice to tell me the stories page by page.  too funny.

she is almost potty trained.  she decided this.  i’d have chosen to wait a while.  but she decided it and we followed suit.  she only wears a diaper at naptime and bedtime and when we go to town now.  i’ll eventually get brave enough to venture out without one!  we have used candy bribes in the past, but since she’s the third and her brothers think she hung the moon, we haven’t had to this time.  she has a little musical potty that plays when she goes.  so everybody, short of daisy and the baby, go running to see the “results” when they hear the music.  and when she pees outside she stands up and holds her tt (the way her brothers do).  oh. my.

the littlest

is 3 1/2 months.

sucks his thumb and holds a little blankie to put himself to sleep.  it is so cute.  i’m working on getting a picture of this.

he kind of likes his daddy a little more now.  he will smile and laugh at him.  but still doesn’t want matt to hold him.  if matt holds him more than about 2-5 minutes he starts screaming.

he can bring toys to his mouth.

he’s teething something terrible.

he requires a quiet nursing time with me in the afternoon or he will scream for hours on end.

the ergo has saved my life.

he rolled over one day several times.  and hasn’t again.  he will when he gets ready, not too worried about it.

expanding the parker family

either not for a long time or never.

something occurred to me last night while i was putting everybody to bed and my girl and my littlest were screaming the loudest.  i’ve always said that God gives us who He wants us to have in our family when He wants us to have them.  we were set up to have more kiddos when our second boy was 2 and our girl was an infant because the second boy’s toddlerhood was calm and my girl’s infancy was a dream.  seeing as how my girl’s toddlerhood is ridiculous and my littlest’s infancy is as insane as her toddlerhood.  well, let’s just say, i’m done.  and i’m loving homeschooling so much that i can’t wait to get everybody going at once.  and i’m enjoying each moment now and not looking forward to the next one so much.  and i like that i will be joining the rest of the family and not always sitting on the sidelines pregnant, nursing, or holding a baby.  it feels good.

to sum up

the medicine is working.  so everything looks better.  and life is pretty good.  it’s not all roses.  and i’ll be sure to post on the thorns along the way.  remember, it always sounds better than it really is when you highlight only the best parts of your life.  if you’ve stayed with me this long you’re probably a grandparent and i wanted to tell you that i LOVE that you grandmas are commenting.  i read them to the kiddos and i feel like you’re more connected with us.  and if you’re not a grandparent and you made it this far, wow.  you’re really devoted and i love you!  let me know you’re here!

When You're On First Name Basis With The Poison Control Guy

June 21st, 2007

besides the typical toddler dumping stuff/knocking everything off/hitting/sometimes biting/and lots of screaming behavior, in the last 2 weeks my girl has (in no particular order):

-started climbing out of the crib

-refused to sleep anywhere

-started climbing to the top bunk (prompting us to take away the ladder)

-learned to scale the bunk beds without the ladder

-fallen off the top bunk trying to turn on the light after bedtime (prompting us first to cry and pray that she would be okay – it was not a good scene – and then prompting us to disassemble the bunk beds and remove the top one from the house completely)

-drank/dumped the infant gas drops (prompting me to curse the makers that don’t put childproof lids on medicine)

-continued the 9 month long saga of coming out of her seatbelt when she’s bored in the car (prompting me to scream at my 2 year old like a mad woman)

-colored on every available surface – including the inside of her ear with oil paints (still there 4 days later)

-taken to putting small objects in her mouth constantly like a 12 month old

-puked in the van on the way to the birthday party

-gotten a horrid bruise on the bottom of her foot – from i don’t know where.

-gagged our infant routinely with her finger

-tried to stick a bouncy ball there.  yes, there.

and the most recent…

-ate half of my new deodrant.  ate it.  as in actually swallowed half of it before we discovered it.  prompting us to call poison control.  in case you’re wondering – it probably won’t kill you.  it will give you a red rash around the mouth, make you water proof, smell really great, and give you a wicked stomach ache.  we have, so far, escaped the vomiting and diarrhea they said should happen, though we’re not holding our breath. 

thanks Justin, you do poison control proud.

(disclaimer:  i am watching her.  it’s like trying to watch a tasmanian devil.  this is yet another reason i fully believe my latest installment in the parker family will be my last.  everytime i look at a pregnant woman and begin to daydream i immediately think, “when she outgrows this stage, i still have another one to go through this.”)

2 Under 2 - 3rd Edition

break the rules.  i can’t say this enough.  break the rules.  the rules in the books.  the rules in the magazines.  the rules on all those tlc mama shows.  the rules that your friends and family tell you.  the rules in your own head.  break the rules.  do what works for you.  and that will change with every child just about every month.  do what works for you until it doesn’t work anymore. 

these are some questions you need to ask yourself frequently, particularly when you’re pulling your hair out and thinking, “what am i doing?  i’m gonna kill these kids.”

1.  is this working for me?

-if it’s not.  change it.  i don’t care what ideology you think you have about whether your child should have a paci or suck his thumb.  if he’s screaming all the time and sucking his thumb makes him happier and therefore your whole family happier – break the rule. 

2.  what’s not working about it?

-he won’t sleep anywhere but attached to me.  if he thumbsucks, he’ll sleep in the swing sometimes.

3.  why am i still doing this?

-tape playing in my head, “you must let him sleep in his bassinet to learn to sleep alone.  he must use a paci because i’ve heard nightmare stories about 10 year olds that still suck their thumbs.”

4.  what can i change right now to survive this moment?

-let him suck his thumb.

5.  what can i change for the long term to make life better for everybody?

-let him suck his thumb.  which leads into another motto around our house “you can always retrain later.”  there’s not a window of training that closes and you just lost it.  no, you can revisit this.  and you probably will.  case in point:  so you have her sleep trained perfectly, right?  what happens when she gets sick, then?  you break the rules for her (and you) to survive the throwing up marathon.  3 days pass, all the puke is sufficiently lysolled away – how’s that perfectly sleeping child doing now for ya?  you retrain.  and she learns to sleep without you again.  you can retrain.

and a few really big picture questions:

6.  are we all having fun?  is my child having fun?  am i having fun?

-yes, this is important.  as important as moral training, as manners training, as learning to read.  you have to live this life you’ve got, you know.  it doesn’t have to suck.

7.  what effect is this rule having on my marriage?

-oh, so important.  the whole point of raising kids the right way is to get rid of them in the end.  really.  that’s the whole point.  so what’s left 18 years from now?  you and him.  you better get this part right.

8.  what am i going for in the big picture?

-a happy baby?  a well-mannered child?  well-adjusted adults that don’t have too many therapy bills?  followers of Christ?  a home that i want to come back to is probably a home that my husband will want to come back to and that my children will want to come back to.  figure it out and plan accordingly.  jeff used to say, “live intentionally.”  a friend of matt’s says, “having no plan is a plan to fail.”  every once in a while i ask myself, “what is my plan in homeschooling?”  to keep up with the neighbors?  to impress my friends?  to finish a curriculum because i’m anal retentive like that?  i’m going for a young adult that knows how to survive the real world – bullies, friends, having babies, being married, balancing checkbooks, being debt-free, knowing how to cook, serves others, and seeking what Jesus wants for them.  in order to accomplish this i need to not get bogged down by not getting to our math today, the house is a wreck, the baby sucked his thumb, and i burnt dinner (again).

in parenting, ask yourself, “did i love ‘em today?”  and if i didn’t so much, then know, “His mercies are new every morning.”  as can our mercies be for them.

and break the rules.