When You're On First Name Basis With The Poison Control Guy

June 21st, 2007

besides the typical toddler dumping stuff/knocking everything off/hitting/sometimes biting/and lots of screaming behavior, in the last 2 weeks my girl has (in no particular order):

-started climbing out of the crib

-refused to sleep anywhere

-started climbing to the top bunk (prompting us to take away the ladder)

-learned to scale the bunk beds without the ladder

-fallen off the top bunk trying to turn on the light after bedtime (prompting us first to cry and pray that she would be okay – it was not a good scene – and then prompting us to disassemble the bunk beds and remove the top one from the house completely)

-drank/dumped the infant gas drops (prompting me to curse the makers that don’t put childproof lids on medicine)

-continued the 9 month long saga of coming out of her seatbelt when she’s bored in the car (prompting me to scream at my 2 year old like a mad woman)

-colored on every available surface – including the inside of her ear with oil paints (still there 4 days later)

-taken to putting small objects in her mouth constantly like a 12 month old

-puked in the van on the way to the birthday party

-gotten a horrid bruise on the bottom of her foot – from i don’t know where.

-gagged our infant routinely with her finger

-tried to stick a bouncy ball there.  yes, there.

and the most recent…

-ate half of my new deodrant.  ate it.  as in actually swallowed half of it before we discovered it.  prompting us to call poison control.  in case you’re wondering – it probably won’t kill you.  it will give you a red rash around the mouth, make you water proof, smell really great, and give you a wicked stomach ache.  we have, so far, escaped the vomiting and diarrhea they said should happen, though we’re not holding our breath. 

thanks Justin, you do poison control proud.

(disclaimer:  i am watching her.  it’s like trying to watch a tasmanian devil.  this is yet another reason i fully believe my latest installment in the parker family will be my last.  everytime i look at a pregnant woman and begin to daydream i immediately think, “when she outgrows this stage, i still have another one to go through this.”)

2 Under 2 - 3rd Edition

break the rules.  i can’t say this enough.  break the rules.  the rules in the books.  the rules in the magazines.  the rules on all those tlc mama shows.  the rules that your friends and family tell you.  the rules in your own head.  break the rules.  do what works for you.  and that will change with every child just about every month.  do what works for you until it doesn’t work anymore. 

these are some questions you need to ask yourself frequently, particularly when you’re pulling your hair out and thinking, “what am i doing?  i’m gonna kill these kids.”

1.  is this working for me?

-if it’s not.  change it.  i don’t care what ideology you think you have about whether your child should have a paci or suck his thumb.  if he’s screaming all the time and sucking his thumb makes him happier and therefore your whole family happier – break the rule. 

2.  what’s not working about it?

-he won’t sleep anywhere but attached to me.  if he thumbsucks, he’ll sleep in the swing sometimes.

3.  why am i still doing this?

-tape playing in my head, “you must let him sleep in his bassinet to learn to sleep alone.  he must use a paci because i’ve heard nightmare stories about 10 year olds that still suck their thumbs.”

4.  what can i change right now to survive this moment?

-let him suck his thumb.

5.  what can i change for the long term to make life better for everybody?

-let him suck his thumb.  which leads into another motto around our house “you can always retrain later.”  there’s not a window of training that closes and you just lost it.  no, you can revisit this.  and you probably will.  case in point:  so you have her sleep trained perfectly, right?  what happens when she gets sick, then?  you break the rules for her (and you) to survive the throwing up marathon.  3 days pass, all the puke is sufficiently lysolled away – how’s that perfectly sleeping child doing now for ya?  you retrain.  and she learns to sleep without you again.  you can retrain.

and a few really big picture questions:

6.  are we all having fun?  is my child having fun?  am i having fun?

-yes, this is important.  as important as moral training, as manners training, as learning to read.  you have to live this life you’ve got, you know.  it doesn’t have to suck.

7.  what effect is this rule having on my marriage?

-oh, so important.  the whole point of raising kids the right way is to get rid of them in the end.  really.  that’s the whole point.  so what’s left 18 years from now?  you and him.  you better get this part right.

8.  what am i going for in the big picture?

-a happy baby?  a well-mannered child?  well-adjusted adults that don’t have too many therapy bills?  followers of Christ?  a home that i want to come back to is probably a home that my husband will want to come back to and that my children will want to come back to.  figure it out and plan accordingly.  jeff used to say, “live intentionally.”  a friend of matt’s says, “having no plan is a plan to fail.”  every once in a while i ask myself, “what is my plan in homeschooling?”  to keep up with the neighbors?  to impress my friends?  to finish a curriculum because i’m anal retentive like that?  i’m going for a young adult that knows how to survive the real world – bullies, friends, having babies, being married, balancing checkbooks, being debt-free, knowing how to cook, serves others, and seeking what Jesus wants for them.  in order to accomplish this i need to not get bogged down by not getting to our math today, the house is a wreck, the baby sucked his thumb, and i burnt dinner (again).

in parenting, ask yourself, “did i love ‘em today?”  and if i didn’t so much, then know, “His mercies are new every morning.”  as can our mercies be for them.

and break the rules.

When's The Last Time You Cried?

June 2nd, 2007

i mean really-couldn’t-catch-your-breath cried.

several of the blogs i’ve read recently combined with several real life friends have gotten me thinking about this.  we’re so determined to be superwomen that we don’t give ourselves permission to cry and fail.  i know it seems goofy, but i’ve decided to take parenting advice from the magic school bus.  go ahead, get dirty, make mistakes. 

so, take a minute and take stock of your life.  what has happened to you and around you in the last year?  if you were listening to a friend relate to you all the things that you have gone through how would you respond?  would you tell them to get over it.  suck it up.  would you tell them all the things that you tell yourself?  or would you give them a hug and tell ‘em it’s okay?  would you tell them that it’s okay to cry sometimes? 

so, maybe, you need to sit on your front porch (much as i did a week ago) and bawl.  feel what you’re feeling.  wallow in it for a little while.  and see just why God gave us tears.  and see how it feels to get up after that and feel His mercies that have washed over us just as those tears did.  and maybe looking back at the hard times and recognizing them as such will allow you to look forward with hope and confidence and excitement at what you can take on next.

think of how good it felt once upon a time to cry and wash your face in the sink and start over.

so here’s to a good cry.  and a good gettin’ up.