Trust. On Several Levels

June 29th, 2009

It’s funny that y’all mentioned trust in the last post.  I didn’t see it initially.  The thing I loved most about those pictures on first look is my husband’s face in the second pic.  Just look at that.  Could he be any happier?  Could I love him any more for it?

But when y’all said “trust” it got me to thinkin’.  This is the child and the daddy that had me heart-broken 2 years ago.  This is the baby that wouldn’t go to his daddy.  Ever.  If Matt picked him up he cried.  And cried.  And cried.  If Matt (or any other adult person besides me, for that matter) even looked at him he screamed.  Uncontrollably, until I swooped in and rescued him.  It was this way from day one.  The moment he came out.  And it continued this way for well over a year.  Just a few months ago if I attempted to leave him at home with his daddy for a brief outing to the store he wailed until I returned.  That’s my fault, some of you will say.  And you’re allowed to say that.  Just as you’re allowed to be wrong.  He is the fourth, remember?  And by now I’ve learned every one of these little boogers has their own personality.  From day one.  Coddle them, carry them, pick them up, abandon them, leave them, “train them” at 3 months, whatever, sure, you can have an effect.  However, you can have an effect on who they already are, not on a blank slate.  I didn’t create this child to be attached.  Thankfully, he was my fourth, and as I said as I was going through it, it was a season.  I stressed some on it, because who doesn’t want to see the daddy of their child cuddled up in a naptime with his newborn infant?  But, having seen the scale of the others, and seeing them grow over the years, I knew that they would turn into toddlers that would discover how great Daddy could be and slowly pull away from the comfort of my Mama’s hand into the fun filled Daddy one.  I’ve watched all 3 other children make the shift from “I ont Mama!” to “No, Mama!  Want Daddy!”.  All of them.  Without fail.  Began to choose their Daddy over their Mama.  And I rejoiced then, just as I am rejoicing now.  It’s his season.  And I love it.  Not one ounce of me is sad to see the shift.  Who could be, when looking at this picture?

So, Mamas out there who happen to have babies like this little guy who never seemed to “bond” with their Daddies, hang in there.  Trust.  Because one day it will happen.  They will shun your hand and turn to his.  And in that moment, all the guilt and worry you’ve had will wash away with joy.