A couple of months ago we bought some extra coffee cups from a second hand store. We go through coffee cups in an unbelievable way, like they’re disposable or something. My Oldest picked this cup. He liked the picture and the cool handle. I was a tad distracted in the glass aisle, I didn’t pay much attention until we got home, got it washed and I was making our morning line up. Then I noticed it had a part of a Bible verse on it. It’s Malachi 4:6 6“He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers.”
I paused in my coffee and cocoa making and thought about it. Somehow it struck me. That’s what I want. For my children’s hearts to be restored to me. Turned to me. And to their father. And through us as a living example, to their Heavenly Father.
So I prayed it over them. Right then, as I measured out chocolate milk mix and creamer. I prayed that their hearts would be softened; turned to me and Matt. I prayed that our hearts would be turned to them and not get so caught up in go, go, go, do, do, do, that I lose their hearts in the process.
This cut particularly close because my girl has been a daddy’s girl from the get-go. Which I love. But I’ve spent years hoping she would like me. Because really, for most of the time she has just tolerated me. I mean, I know she loves me, but she doesn’t cuddle me, she doesn’t run to me, she doesn’t like what I have to say. When I read about other little girls wanting to be like their mommies, I mourn a little. Because she doesn’t.
So I pray.
Also close because our oldest has some trust issues. It keeps him at an arm’s length from us some of the time. I know it’s trust issues now. But when he was little I didn’t, I just thought it was disobedience/fit issues. But I searched and cried and prayed for wisdom and cried some more. And eventually I worked through it and boiled it down to – if he can’t trust my heart that what I’m doing is the best for him then he can’t obey freely what I’m asking him to do. For instance, “Son, I need you to come to me as soon as I call you.” Followed by disobedience, because he appears to know more than we do. But then when we read in Little House on the Prairie about how Ma and Pa had emergencies and their girls listened and reacted instantly without question and how it saved lives, he seemed to have a breakthrough. We stopped and talked about how we won’t always know why we’re supposed to do what Mama and Daddy are asking of us (and thereby eventually what and why God wants certain things for us) but that we must obey. Trusting that Mom and Dad know more about the situation than the child. And that in knowing more we also have his best interest, through love, in mind. That what we are asking for through obedience is not to his harm and detriment but to his good. I sometimes even sing “Trust and Obey” to him with a smile when I ask something of him.
To remind him.
To turn his heart to mine.
And I pray.
And then, just the other day while I was working on the computer my girl came and asked to sit in my lap. And she whispered in my ear, “Mama, I want to do everything you do.”
I felt the chills. I fought the tears.
I said, “Yes, ma’am, absolutely.”
And I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving.
For their hearts, I will pray. I will fight. And when my words fail me, I will pray His words back to Him.
Father, I pray that you would turn their hearts to me and Matt. That Father,in turn, they would learn obedience and trust. And that through us they would learn love, obedience, and trust in You. And I thank you that while these prayers are still on my lips that you are already putting whispers in their mouths of desires to be like, and with, me and Matt. Thank you, Father.
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