Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys

July 26th, 2011

Alternately titled, “I always did like Han Solo”.

I have this theory.

Matt and I have talked about it before.  After spending so much time discussing what on earth is wrong with girls that they would be so smitten with these boys that are so wrong for them, I’ve come to this conclusion.

It has to do with The Fall and God’s original plan for our marriages.  It’s a reach, but it resonates with me, so hang in there, ‘k?

God intended for men to be the head of the household.  To lead us, guide us, to protect us.  We are naturally drawn to that.

We like a leader.  Someone to be bold, to make decisions.  We like a go-getter.

(I never claimed to be politically correct, so if you feel as though you’re getting your ire up at me right now, you might want to move onto another blog, I’m not the one for you.)

I think there’s a lot that goes into that moment in the garden.  I think that one of those noteworthy things is that the serpent wooed Eve.  He did not target Adam originally.  Where was Adam’s leadership, his protection?  How would Eve have felt had he spoken up, stepped forward, been bold, told the serpent to head out?  I can guess.  She would’ve swooned.

When you’re looking forward to a night out with your hubby do you want to be the one who makes all the detailed plans?  Or do you feel more pampered when he says, “Oh, I’ve made the plans, it’s all a surprise, just be ready by 6pm and I’ll take care of the rest”?

We want a man to be in charge.  To be dependable.  To be wild and fierce.  But we don’t see that in a lot of men.  Especially in good guys.  Good guys tend to be soft spoken, go with flow, wishy-washy, if you will.

But now, picture your “bad guy”.  He’s cool.  He’s confident.  He’s in control.  (along with all the other characteristics that are not so charming)  But I believe that girls are drawn to a boy who embodies that leadership role.  And it stands out the most in bad boys who tend to flaunt that attribute.

So, what do we do with this?  We teach our girls to look for those leadership qualities that we are naturally drawn to, in boys that are godly.  We teach them how to recognize true leadership versus that “bad boy” appeal.  And we teach our boys how to be true leaders.  Leaders who will guide their families in love.  Leaders who will be bold when the moment calls for it.  Leaders who will listen to their families and pray their way through each day.

We teach awareness.